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Friday, January 30, 2009

Things I'd like to outsource (but sadly never will)

1. Washing my face. I'd love to hire someone to come by every evening, remove my makeup, massage in cleanser and then gently rub it off with a wet towel (can you tell I had a facial today?)

2. Arranging of my pillows. When I was pregnant with Maxie, I got prenatal massages every few weeks. The massage therapist (my doula, actually) would arrange my body on pillows. One under my head, one under my leg, one for me to hug. I have never been so comfortable in my life. I'd like to hire her to come every night to do this for me (and then come back throughout the night if I get up to pee).

3. Dealing with my laundry. I'd really prefer to just toss my clothes on the floor at the end of the evening. This employee would gather them up, decide how to deal with each item (clean enough to wear again, dry cleaning, launder, hand wash) and then deal with it. I'd never touch laundry again.

4. Wake up calls. When I was little, my dad would wake me up every morning. He'd come in my room and gently wake me, but then leave me to still lay there. He'd then go back downstairs, get me a cup of juice and come back up. At that point, he'd make me sit up to drink it, insuring that I was awake for good (can you tell that I'm not a morning person?). If he wants to reprise this role (Dad?) I'm all for it. In lieu of that, I'd like someone to start doing this for me stat. And I think I'd prefer a grande nonfat latte with one sugar in the raw over the juice.

I have many more of these, but I'm depressing myself. What do you guys hate doing/want to outsource?


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