A Modern Woman's Guide to the Ultimate Sick Day

Step One: Look at inappropriate photos of your favorite chefs on one of your favorite blogs. Make inappropriate comments. Keep refreshing page to read other inappropriate comments.

Step Two: Watch The View. Decide you hate Elizabeth Hasselback more than ever. What is WRONG with that woman? (besides her voting record and stupid comments)

Step Three: Switch to the Style Network. Watch back-to-back episodes of Clean House. Decide you need Niecy Nash to come to YOUR house. Realize it's never happening. Get kind of bummed out.

Step Four: Receive basket of giant cookies on a stick from the best work team ever. Send them a love email. Commence cookie eating.

Step Five: Take a two-hour, codeine-induced nap. Nice!

Step Six: Have daughter bring you a fresh sports bottle of ice water. Kids are so useful!

Step Seven: Play endless games of Scrabulous, Scramble and Word Twist on Facebook. Realize that codeine is maybe not super conducive to high scores. Be thankful you aren't playing Liz from Mom-101, because her Scramble scores are frightening.

Step Eight: Realize you kind of miss life. Make dinner reservation for favorite German restaurant and decide to emerge from cocoon. Slowly.