I am in New York right now. Following an illness that lasted way too long, my Uncle Steve passed away yesterday. My aunt is obviously too emotional to stand up and say anything, so she asked my dad to do the eulogy. My dad is going to speak, but since he hates public speaking, I told him I'd get up and speak a bit too. I typed in my notes here, but I have no idea if this is what I'll end up saying. Somehow, the more special a person is, the harder it is to memorialize him. Words don't just seem to cut it, you know?

Anyway...

Describing my Uncle Steve to others was always a bit of a difficult task. Adjectives just don't do a very good job of expressing who he was.

Funny? Of course. But lots of people are funny.

Generous? To a fault.

Mischievous? Sure.

But, still, these words don't present a full picture.

The best way to do that is through the stories. And there are just so many of them.

I have no idea how this started, but my brother and I had the strange habit of chasing Uncle Steve around in a circle trying to bite his leg. Yes, totally bizarre, and, again, I have no idea why or how this tradition started. One day, we were chasing him around, I caught him, bit his leg, and my tooth fell out! My daughter is now starting to lose her own teeth, and this is one of her favorite stories.

Fast forward almost 15 years, and I had my first internship at Uncle Steve's company, Petry. It was a great summer, and he was the perfect Uncle. While he must have been alarmed watching me party with all of the older employees, he never said a word. At the end of the summer, he wrote me the sweetest note, telling me how proud he was of me. I pulled that note out recently. It meant so much then, and it means even more to me now.

My final story, though I could go on for a long time, took place the weekend of my grandparents' 50th anniversary. It was Thanksgiving weekend, and we all went up to the Nevele to celebrate. Uncle Steve was the official videographer, but simple recording of the weekend activities wasn't enough for him. No. He decided that he'd get EVERY SINGLE EMPLOYEE of the Nevele to say "Happy Anniversary Irv and Lil!" into the video camera. From the janitors, to the waiters, to the person working at the ice skating rink, he hit them all.

That story, and his whole relationship with my grandparents says so much about my Uncle Steve. As those of you who knew them can attest, my Grandma could be a tad overbearing, and my Grandfather a bit gruff. But Uncle Steve was never phased, and he brought out the best in both of them. A son-in-law of my Papa could have easily become the Meathead to his Archie Bunker, but Meathead had nothing on my Uncle Steve. He didn't have the humor. He didn't have the heart.

I'm so grateful to have had such a character in my life. He certainly shaped the person I am today, as I know he has for so many others that his life touched. I'm going to miss you Uncle Steve.

Comments

[Jessica]

Hey there - I'm thinking of you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your Uncle Steve stories are very sweet and even if you can't share them at the funeral, you've shared them and people can still enjoy them and the memories that come with them. Let me know if you want to talk when you're back.

[Lauren]

Danielle, those are beautiful stories. I'm so sorry for your loss. We'll be thinking of you and your family.

[mamacita]

Danielle, I'm so sorry to hear about your Uncle Steve. I've lost family members like that, who were so full of personality, and were a part of such terrific memories. The thing that makes me saddest is knowing that my kids won't know these characters the way I did. I've decided that the only solution is to become a character myself, so I can give the next generation some happy memories, too.

[allison]

i love the stories. they are randomly perfect. stay strong - allison

[Randi]

I'm really sorry for your loss.

[m2z]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your stories are wonderful. May they help you get through this difficult time.

[Kyooty]

I'm sorry for your loss, hugs and prayers for you and your family

[tikva]

aww, danielle, i'm so sorry!