I am indeed a full-time mother, and yes, my daughter does watch Hannah Montana

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  Originally uploaded by Foodmomiac

Sorry for the long post, but I'm feeling very up in arms lately, and I just need to vent.

First, let me state this. I am ALWAYS AND FOREVER a mother to my children. When I am at work? Still a mother. When I'm out on a date with my husband? Still a mother. Even when I leave next weekend for my women's only trip to Santa Barbara wine country, I will STILL BE A MOTHER. I am thrilled that there are moms who choose to stay home with their kids. I am not one of those moms. I love coming to work everyday. It's part of who I am. It doesn't make me any less of a mother though. I have been seeing an increasing number of bloggers lately (stay at home moms) who refer to themselves as full-time moms. This offends me to my core. I don't support the Mommy Wars. I do not want to start an online brawl about this. I simply want to state that wording like this is offensive and hurtful. It hurts my feelings.

OK, second! This post makes me want to scream. My daughter is six-years-old and yes, she loves and watches Hannah Montana. I resent the implication that I am raising a slut. Here's an excerpt of what Rachel Campos Duffy has to say in her piece:

My oldest daughter is eight years old and High School Musical, Hannah Montana and the like are not permitted in my house. I don't want my girls emulating a teenager in a micro-miniskirt and thigh high stockings - I don't care how benign the bubble gum pop songs are. Moms like me are called a lot of things - controlling, prudes, and helicopter moms. Why? Because we'd rather our girls aspire to be astronauts or veterinarians rather than gyrating wanna-be "rock stars"?

OK, first of all, Hannah Montana doesn't dress that way. She is always modestly covered, and even ends up looking ridiculous half the time because she has t-shirts on under a spaghetti strap dress. Second, I want my daughter to aspire to be ANYTHING SHE WANTS. Right now, Dylan's greatest joy comes from music. Every day features multiple dance parties in our house, and she and I have spent a lot of time together creating a "kids mix" on iTunes. She wants to listen to it all the time, and she frequently sings along on her microphone set (greatest Christmas gift ever - thanks Moppy!)

So, you know what, Rachel Campos Duffy? I will let my daughter watch Hannah Montana and High School Musical, because those shows make her want to get up and dance. And then I will get up and dance and sing right along with her, hoping that when she grows up she'll be anything she damn well pleases.

Comments

[Michelle]

Julie - are you serious?

I think it is great that you have decided to work outside of the home if that brings you joy and suits your family, but I think it is ABSURD of you to claim that the children of SAHMs are being damaged. I am an educated, intelligent, strong women who will teach my daughter by example as well. There is nothing weak or shameful about the decision to become a SAHM. It is the hardest job I will ever have, and it will bring the greatest rewards. My daughter will learn that she has a future full of possibilities - a career, family, or both.

[moe]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAmen!
so tired of judgmental moms. If I did not work my family would not have health insurance. It is not an option. I do love when the "stay at home's" find out their husbands are screwing their (friends/sisters/neighbors/co-workers) and they call this working mom for free legal advice. When the only skills you have kept up after abandoning your job-- are acting like a bitch to working moms-- it is a little hard. They loathe me until they want the free legal advice. It becomes really hard try to figure out how they can make ends meet and provide for their kids -- when Dad just isn't into it any more. don't get me ranting-- Oh I am!

As for Hannah and HSM. It ain't porn for god sake!

[Michelle]

Moe, you sound quite judgmental yourself. I love hearing the whole "the husbands of SAHMs are screwing their secretaries" - it always makes me smile. Before I had children, I was a teacher. As you probably know, I didn't have an awesome salary. I could spend every last dime I make per month putting multiple children in daycare and bump our family into a higher tax bracket - or I can stay home and provide the childcare, housekeeping, gardening, and food preparation. So for our family, me staying at home is also NOT AN OPTION!

[followthatdog]

Thank you! I too get pissed off when I hear the "full time mother" thing. I am a mother every minute of every day, at work, at home, out with friends.

[Stefania/CityMama]

Oh, that is rich. Did Rachel watch herself on the Real World? Cuz I did. Like 14 times. What is she going to say when her daughter sees that?

[Kristen]

What a great post! You have an excellent point of view.

[K]

What a great post!

My 5 year old son loves listening to HSM and HM. I've watched the shows with him (and his older sister) and I can't find anything that will scar them for life.

I love singing the songs and dancing with the kids. Is it Shakespeare? No. But sometimes, all you need is some fun.

My dad took me to see Cyndi Lauper when I was a tween. At least Miley doesn't have green hair?

But the Bratz dolls? I agree with anyone who is against those things. They make me shudder.