I am indeed a full-time mother, and yes, my daughter does watch Hannah Montana

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  Originally uploaded by Foodmomiac

Sorry for the long post, but I'm feeling very up in arms lately, and I just need to vent.

First, let me state this. I am ALWAYS AND FOREVER a mother to my children. When I am at work? Still a mother. When I'm out on a date with my husband? Still a mother. Even when I leave next weekend for my women's only trip to Santa Barbara wine country, I will STILL BE A MOTHER. I am thrilled that there are moms who choose to stay home with their kids. I am not one of those moms. I love coming to work everyday. It's part of who I am. It doesn't make me any less of a mother though. I have been seeing an increasing number of bloggers lately (stay at home moms) who refer to themselves as full-time moms. This offends me to my core. I don't support the Mommy Wars. I do not want to start an online brawl about this. I simply want to state that wording like this is offensive and hurtful. It hurts my feelings.

OK, second! This post makes me want to scream. My daughter is six-years-old and yes, she loves and watches Hannah Montana. I resent the implication that I am raising a slut. Here's an excerpt of what Rachel Campos Duffy has to say in her piece:

My oldest daughter is eight years old and High School Musical, Hannah Montana and the like are not permitted in my house. I don't want my girls emulating a teenager in a micro-miniskirt and thigh high stockings - I don't care how benign the bubble gum pop songs are. Moms like me are called a lot of things - controlling, prudes, and helicopter moms. Why? Because we'd rather our girls aspire to be astronauts or veterinarians rather than gyrating wanna-be "rock stars"?

OK, first of all, Hannah Montana doesn't dress that way. She is always modestly covered, and even ends up looking ridiculous half the time because she has t-shirts on under a spaghetti strap dress. Second, I want my daughter to aspire to be ANYTHING SHE WANTS. Right now, Dylan's greatest joy comes from music. Every day features multiple dance parties in our house, and she and I have spent a lot of time together creating a "kids mix" on iTunes. She wants to listen to it all the time, and she frequently sings along on her microphone set (greatest Christmas gift ever - thanks Moppy!)

So, you know what, Rachel Campos Duffy? I will let my daughter watch Hannah Montana and High School Musical, because those shows make her want to get up and dance. And then I will get up and dance and sing right along with her, hoping that when she grows up she'll be anything she damn well pleases.

Comments

[JMH]

AMEN sister! I read a lot of parenting blogs and I agree that many (Not ALL, but several bloggers) seem to feel that they are elite in making that choice. Makes me CRAZY!

Also, as an elementary teacher, I am a "full-time" mom to my own children and a "part-time" mom to THEIR children during the school day. So, WHATEVER!

My family also watches, listens to and enjoys Hannah Montana and HSM / HSM 2. How much you want to bet these "wholesome" girls that these "full-time" moms are raising will be the first ones to rebel during their teen-age years? :)

[Ariel]

I'm always a mother no matter where I go or what I do.
Anyone who says otherwise it definitely looking for a fight.
I like your attitude!

[BethanyWD]

I have got your back on this! While I do want my daughter to dress modestly, if she wants to wear sparkly skirts, etc. fine by me! My kids are a little too young for Hannah Montana and HSM, but I'm sure we'll watch them WITH them in the future.

Although, generally...I've decided that there will be no Bratz in our house - something about those things creeps me out.

[Kirsten]

Agree wholeheartedly. I don't understand why people have to put working moms into one box and stay at home moms in another. We're all moms, all the time. Period. It's sad that there can't be more of a camaraderie rather than a battle to prove who's supermom. Gimme a break.

[Amy W]

Saw your link from Zoot's site...
First off, AMEN. I am a working Mom, and I am a Mom every single second of every day.

And my two year old and four year old watch Hannah Montana and High School Musical. Yes, even my two year old as she wants to do anything her sister does. They are cute, the music is catchy, and I even watch them.

Thanks for posting this!

[Sunshine]

Sorry, I'm very distracted by the fact that you are cute as hell.

[lauren]

Is this Rachel the chick from Real World San Francisco? Who married another Real World person? Who wanted everyone to think of her as a "cool, rebellious" card-carrying member of the GOP? Who, I'm pretty sure, MADE OUT WITH PUCK? Yeah, don't take parenting advice from her.

My favorite "movies" when I was little were Madonna's "Truth or Dare" and "Like A Virgin Tour." And I turned out alright.

[m2z]

I agree with you Danielle! I am a full time mom too! I have 2 full time jobs...just like all of us moms who work outside the home. Which is far more than this overbearing wench can say for herself.

As for HM and HSM, Z is almost 2 and is obsessed with Scooby Doo, but if he did like HM or HSM I would not discourage it. I want him to be his own person. I may have to draw the line if he wants to dress like Miley though. :)

[Mary]

Love it! Your daughter is such a happy kid who has an amazing love for life- what more could you ask for? Nothing makes me happier than watching that child dance around and joining in on the fun!

You and Michael have raised two AWESOME kids!

[Marketing Mommy]

I hear you. I'm no more a part-time mother to my kids than I am a part-time lover to my husband (and I don't spend all day in a negligee). I've never heard any dads referred to as part-time parents...they're just dads, whether they work full-time, part-time or not at all.

[Lauren]

You're awesome.

[ikate]

Rachel Campos Duffy is a judgmental prude who loves to put a magnifying glass over other parents just to watch them squirm. PD has it's share of crazy commenters but I still like to read it. However, their use of RCD really makes me want to stop checking their site.

Secondly, lauren's comment make me spurt Diet Coke through my nose.

Finally - when are all of us, especially mothers, going to take the media to task for exploiting these girls. No one EVER treated Debbie Gibson or Tiffany like they treat Miley and the like. You know what? 15 year olds make mistakes?!??! They use poor judgment! The only difference is now these poor girls are followed and poked and prodded until they crack.

Watching Hannah Montana won't make a girl a slut. Just like watching Grease over and over didn’t make a rash of high-schoolers get pregnant like Rizzo.

[Heather B.]

Rachel Campos-Duffy is a product of the Bunim/Murray reality t.v. machine. In fact one of its earliest products. I'm sorry but people who willingly flaunt their asses and bitchy attitude on MTV are the last people who should be judging other parents or people for that matter. Hell, now I'm pissed right along with you.

She made out with Puck for Christ's sake. Puck. So obviously she had poor judgment as well even though she was considerably older than Miley is when she was videotaped being the crappy person that she was.

Ugh.

[Debbie]

Yep I agree 100%.Just because I have to work does not mean that I'm not a full time mom. I'm so tired of seeing these young stars exploided the way they are. How hard it must be to grow up with your life on display.

[Erin]

I am sorry, but can Miley Cyrus have a semi-normal 15 year old moment? At 15 most of us girls are want to be "older," "more sophistocated." Let ol' Billy Ray raise his dd, I will raise mine, thankyouveddymuch. I am more upset about her having to say she regrets taking them just to appease all of these uptight parents who were ok with their young children watching her show ,listening to her music and buying her merchandise until the PRESS said she did something wrong. I raise my children. Not E! or People magazine. I seriously doubt that these people would have even SEEN these pictures had they not been splashed across the rag mags. I worry more about what goes on at school than the blip of crap they see on television.

[vickie]

I think that those who call themselves full-time moms are feeling defensive because of reactions like "Oh, so you just stay at home, you don't do anything." I've done both stay at home and work and neither is particularly easy. Right now, I'm working/going to school and sometimes it makes being a mamma harder because I have to be away from my daughter when she's sick or when we're experiencing earthquakes (like we have been recently) or even when I'd just like a day off to hang out with her. I completely agree, though, the phrasing could be different, because all parents (who care about their kids) are ALWAYS full-time parents (even after their kids grow up and move out, as my own mom has proven to me).

As for the Hannah Montana/High School Musical thing...I think we're smart and capable enough to talk to our daughters about how they dress their bodies. A t-shirt under a spaghetti-strap dress (as you said), leggings under shorter skirts/shorts, not that difficult to figure out. I've never seen a picture of Dylan running around in some street-walking outfit! I like Miley Cyrus as a role model and I liked a lot of the dresses the lead girl in HSM wore...many were knee-length and didn't expose too much of her body (I'm pretty sure I'm remembering this correctly).

[heather]

Thank You!! If you are a mom, you are a full-time mom, you don't Shut It Off when you are at work. Family is #1 priority for any proper parent...working, at home, or otherwise!

[Julie]

SO well written and said! Hannah, and HSM, are well loved in our house. Like your daughter, our 6 year old loves music. She spends at least 30 minutes when she gets home from school just chilling out listening to music. If Hannah Montana/HSM/Miley help encourage her interest in music that we're all for it. We've seen HM and HSM in concert - awesome fun for both my daughter and I. And if her fashion is influenced along the way I'm ok with that to. Afterall as parents we're the ones BUYING the clothes.

And as for Rachel whatever her name is - I totally agree with previous posters. Anyone who has been in The Real World has zero credibility in my book to give advice on basically anything than making an ass out of themselves.

[Ginny]

Thank you!! I agree whole heartedly! I just got into it over the weekend w/ the PTA mommys' who make snide comments because I have a job and cannot be at the school everyday! We are raising a generation of irresponnsible, sheltered children who will grow up and not be able to handle adult life w/o the help of their mommy. I'm sorry- but as a mother of 2 girls, I think of it as my RESPONSIBILITY to raise independent, strong, wise females who will have enough courage and knowledge to go out there and tackle whatever life gives them!
And I seem to remember wanting to be Madonna and Debbie Harry and running around singing "Like a Virgin" when I was little! Miley Cyrus is like Strawberrry Shortcake compared to them!

[Lori]

I so agree with you. I work full time and I'm a mom full time. I don't stop thinking about my girls when I'm at work. I also looked at the blog about HM and it also made me so mad . My 6 year old doesn't watch HM & the HSM movies very often but she does sometimes. However up until Christmas she wanted to be a Cheerleader when she grew up. Now she wants to be a Rock Star. Isn't that letting little girls be little girls, pretending to be whatever you want to be at the moment.

[Shelly in Austin]

My son's current favorite show is Max & Ruby. Should I be afraid he will start to dress like a bunny?

Nice post.

[Kristina]

So much word. I love your blog, because you're a down to earth mom that also happens to have a life. And I read it while I'm at work every day while my 9 month old son plays with his Grandpa! I wouldn't have it any other way!!!

[Lizzie]

You are my new favorite person.

[Jessica]

The full-time mother comment offends me too. Even after my parents split and my mom had to work full-time, she was still a full-time mom to my brother and me no matter where she was.

[Kyooty]

WowSeems I missed a big oh cat fight listen to the penquins in Madagascar "smile and wave girls, smile and wave..."